LIFE AND DEATH

A TRIBUTE TO TOBE

Yin and yang, light and dark, earth and sky, sound and silence… I think you get the drift. For there to be balance, there must be harmony between opposites.

The most painful of all? Life and death.

We’re human beings. We know everyone dies at some point. If that’s too raw for you, then everyone “passes away or kicks the bucket” at some point. But knowledge and understanding are two different things. Ask the Christians that pray for both these things in addition to wisdom during exam periods. It is not enough to know. Sadly.

I lost a good friend of mine recently. So recent. Never (and I don’t use this word loosely) did I think that I would post his picture up in relation to death. Ha!

Tobechukwu Ngozi-Olehi was my friend. He was a sweetheart. He was one of the loves of my life (I have quite a lot). He was amazing. I was in third year when he came in in first year. We shared so many interests, i.e both members of CLASFON (Christian Law Students’ Fellowship of Nigeria), both members of Shiloh Theatre, both members of the Students’ Bar (I remember he was in a different chambers but switched to mine after he was called).

There was no way we wouldn’t end up good friends.

Tobe gave the best hugs. I’m a hugger, so that’s vital. In my head, I can hear the way he called my name with a smile. Always all smiles with me. We had frequent all nighters (chambers and theatre were quite demanding). I will never forget this memory: we were preparing for the IFDF (Inter Faculty Drama Fiesta) and it was super hectic. He was in third year then and in charge of our faculty (Law. Apparently, I haven’t said so). I was in final year and didn’t have the time to be involved. But I couldn’t leave him in the lurch. He needed all the support he could get. I helped him direct our plays and a bunch of other things. We didn’t win best faculty drama but we won best director. We were both sleep deprived, this was an all night event and I wasn’t aiming to win any award. From where the adrenaline came, I knoweth not. But Tobe and I went on that stage, I collected the award and I jumped up on him. He was able to catch me and hold onto me. That was a great night for us.

People say I wish I had one more moment with soso person that died. When I heard the news of his death and I had calmed down from the tears and prayers, I realized how selfish I really am. I don’t want a single moment. I want MOMENTS more. Lots and lots of them. Why limit the wish to a single moment? No, thank you.

Tobe, I miss you. I miss how we still talked even after I left school. I miss seeing your status updates by 1:00 a.m, listening to music as you monitored the Forex market. I hope you knew how many people really love you. I miss your “whining.” I miss our “yabs” about so many different people. I miss the way you made me proud as you held Concorde’s brief in court. I miss your laugh. I miss your kindness.

I miss you terribly. Death no be “small challenge” las las. I knew you would die at some point (human. Obviously) but I don’t think I’ll ever understand why it had to be now. But, I’ll cherish our memories. Too many to count but treasured in every way.

Tobe, my love, I hope you’re in a good place.

Your Zikanni loves you.

Edited and Published by Directionless