DIRECTIONLESS- NURTURING HOPES BEHIND THE CURTAINS OF UNCERTAINTY

Feature Story

Directionless. The year 2020 has been one with multiple mixed emotions, one with which I have a love-hate relationship, one I don’t think I’d ever be able to forget.

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I opened the curtains to the year with a horrible bout of malaria and typhoid, which was near impossible to treat fully, I think that was when I realized it wasn’t going to be an easy ride. The illness made me lose some weeks worth of school work hence resuming in mid February to a shit ton of work whilst struggling to fully recuperate. 
I was already under so much pressure at the start of the school year, you can imagine the joy I felt on getting the news of the 2 weeks warning strike by ASUU. It was akin to a festive period in my faculty, I mean, we all had time to catch-up on school work and get some well deserved rest. Then came the COVID-19 evacuation memo. It hit me hard since going back home wasn’t among my plans, but oh well, “sheybi it’s just for like two weeks” I remember thinking back then. I packed three small bags leaving most important stuff in school thinking everything would be settled before the next month, apparently I was in for the shock of my life. 
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It’s been 8 months and here I am, still at home. On arriving home on the 22nd of March there was a break in to my house by my neighbors and some anticultism officers. I won’t go into full details so that I won’t end up boring you. Anyways, that happened and we got the police involved, I’m pretty sure you can guess how that went down. 
Here I was, at home looking forward to my birthday in June, but yeah those plans were painfully nullified, I could do nothing but mark it by releasing a seven poem anthology I authored (Roses are-Red- We bled), you can reach me for a copy. I think that was the highlight of June.
 Unfortunately, family issues from tension due to the lockdown sprung up in July through October, trust me, it wasn’t a pretty sight. I decided to learn a new skill (Tailoring) and enrolled at my aunt’s academy, I had some of the best times of the year there. During that period I kept searching for writing gigs and paid contests. Eventually I got a few and won the prize for the overall winner for one of them, this caused a falling out between my aunt and I leading to an abrupt halt on my training. Then came the nationwide #EndSARS protests which I was actively following online while my phone was already acting up and due for change. I can vividly remember the 20th of October, the tears, the pain, the nightmares and fears due to the massacre at Lekki Toll-gate. I can recall the frustration I felt from not being able to get first hand information as my phone was spoilt already, leaving me to rely on clips shown to me by my brother, gists and rumours, all of those were triggering enough to cause tears. I remember the mental breakdown I had on hearing the false allegations strewn by the government, infringement of human rights, lies and fibs told on live television. I would never forget 20-10-20, Never. The last week of October was highlighted by my purchase of a new mobile phone. We’re currently in November, I’ve sent out multiple rejected applications, unanswered emails and generally been placing myself under so much pressure, which in order to relieve I had to cut down on my phone time for the past two days. Me writing this, is me trying to reopen my creative dam. I can feel the words again and I’ve decided to let them flow.

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The year has had its ups and downs which personally I think were necessary (exception of the casualties of course). It has awoken a drive amongst the present day Nigerian youth, we share a oneness we never would’ve imagined possible and I believe it is the preamble to the spark of change. I have met really wonderful people, whom I never want to let go of. I’ve learnt lessons and achieved a level of growth I didn’t know existed. I believe 2021 will be better and there would never be a year like 2020.

Contributor: Mary (Uniport)

Published and Edited by Directionless