DIRECTIONLESS- AN UNCERTAIN FUTURE

Feature Story

Directionless /dəˈrɛkʃnləs/, /daɪˈrek.ʃən.ləs/- Lacking in general aim or purpose. Not knowing what to do. Adrift. Rudderless.

For me, it all started with a two weeks warning strike. In all truth, I couldn't be more happy. School work was becoming ‘meh’ and I needed a little time off. I thought to myself, “perfect timing, just what I need, a little time off and I will be ready to continue my school flight”. ASUU had become my rescue. In one week I had already regained strength and I was ready to begin school, the extra one week was bonus. Then came Covid-I9.

Like excuse me, hello? I wanted only a little break, where is this one coming from? I did not even want to go home. No, I wasn't going to go home, give it one week or two, it will pass, besides, my lecturer said it was not in Nigeria yet, it was just politics and the ministry of health wanted to make money. LMAO. I still think back and laugh at that thought, zipping my figurative mouth, before I say something.

I can never forget that day the school released a circular asking everyone to vacate the premises. The pandemonium was one of a kind. Shuttle drivers increased their fare. All of us packing and running wide so we'd be able to make it home. I didn't even go to Abuja where my family resides. I went to Nnewi, my hometown. One of the most annoying thing in all of this is the time it has lasted. I was so certain that in a couple of weeks, give it 2 months max. I left my books in school, packed only a few clothes. In 7 months, I have had to buy new clothes, just so I'll have what to wear. It's almost 8 months and they are still playing with my future. Every month my heart gets shattered, I have stopped checking ASUU and FG news updates. I have lost every hope of school starting this year. I cannot stop thinking how nobody cares about students, it's just a game for them. From the Federal Government, to ASUU, to NANS (National Association of Nigerian Students)- those ones are just looking for money and the annoying thing is they are not even undergraduates. They are playing cat and rat. We are the cheese!

I feel so Adrift. I have learnt to sew, I picked up a skill, Yay! But I actually do not feel “yay”. The uncertainty is stifling. I feel smothered, choked, overpowered. I am trapped in a bottle of uncertainty. It concerns me yet I have no input whatsoever in the decision. I feel the anger rise always, the anguish. They told us we compete with our contemporaries globally, but we don't even have what it takes. We work so hard. Put in effort. We get less and less, we are not even valued.

I question everything now and I think a lot of how to fix my plans and dreams into an uncertain future. I feel like I am loosing it. The aimlessness, the nothingness. Why do they place so much emphasis on school when they do not value it?

I hope it ends soon, I hope I stop getting frustrated, that we all stop getting frustrated.

Does hope give direction?

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Contributor: Francess (UNN)

Edited and Published by Directionless.